TGIF!

 I have felt under attack this week. You all know how my week started with a lovely trip to the grocery store...well as the week went on another stressful situation presented itself.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with my story, let me rewind a bit. I grew up in a large family and was number 7 of ten children. I have two amazing and Godly parents that raised me in church and at a young age I formed a personal relationship with Christ. As I got older and entered high school I let other relationships with friends take priority in my life. With my faith on the back burner I began making some bad decisions, one of the first was seeking out a relationship with a certain guy. That relationship ended up lasting for six long years from the time I was 17-23. During this time I was emotionally, verbally, and physically abused. After ending things, I went off the deep end. I didn't know who I was anymore and I didn't care what happened to me.  I was lost and broken, but instead running back to God, I ran into the arms of the first man who showed me attention. Although I had given up on myself, God had never given up on me, and he was determined to get his child back one way or another. Within a few weeks I lost my place to live and my job. I continued in my sinful relationship, but God wasn't done with me yet. I found out I was pregnant, and soon after the father made it clear he had no interest in me or the baby. I felt like damaged goods and discarded trash. I was jobless, homeless, pregnant, and hopeless. At my lowest, I finally called out to God and he scooped me up in His loving arms and showed me that I was valuable. He took my mess of a life and blessed it beyond measure. He gave me the gift of precious baby boy and later brought a man into our lives who accepted Daniel as his own and loved me despite my past.
I am so far from the person I was back then, but it seems that Satan still likes to bring up my past insecurities, worries, and fears. He hopes that I will do the one thing he wants and question my faith and the power of God. I refuse to give him victory. The other day I received a not so nice email from my son's "sperm donor". Sorry for the terminology, but I have a hard time calling him anything else since this is the only title that he has earned. He has never wanted any responsibility whatsoever. When I first learned I was pregnant he had mentioned adoption, he willingly didn't sign the birth certificate because he wanted no financial responsibility, and was pretty much absent during my pregnancy and after Daniel was born. It took him over 3 years, but a few months ago he decided that he now has an interest in Daniel and would like to see him. He has taken to pressuring and threatening me to get what he wants. It would be so easy to let myself get worked up over feelings from the past and play the blame game with him. I will admit I wanted to and started to, but than I would be getting in God's way. From the start I have bathed this situation in prayer and placed it in God's hands. Because of this, God has done some amazing things! He has protected Daniel from being hurt and given him a real father. When Daniel was 16 months old I married the man of my dreams and he adopted Daniel the same day, giving us both his last name. Because there was no father listed on the birth certificate, we were able to amend it and add Josh's name. This made him his legal guardian and took away any rights from the "sperm donor". Daniel never missed out on anything and has always known Josh as his "daddy". My heart overflows every time I hear him talk about "his daddy". "Mommy someday I will be big like my daddy. " :)
I have lost some sleep over the past few days, due the recent words and issue with the "sperm donor" , but after talking things over with my husband we decided what would be the best way to handle this for Daniel's sake, and we would leave the rest up to God. I woke up this morning with an overwhelming feeling of peace about about everything. God used this week to remind me of all the ways he has blessed my life and that he is still in control. I am so thankful for the amazing man that he brought into my life. A real man, one willing to step up to someone elses responsibilities. My husband, Joshua Callahan is this man. He is a wonderful father that loves his son and provides a loving and stable life for him. While a certain man from my past still continues to show himself as immature and less than a man, my husband has been the mature one in this situation and stood up to protect and support his son and wife. Besides my father, he is the only man in my life that has been there for me in this way. I am so proud to call him my husband and the father of my children! I am one lucky lady! God is good!

And I get to go on a date with this amazingly handsome man tonight!